belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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