He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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