Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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