he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
