Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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