i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
