Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
