I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
