I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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