so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize