So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
