Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Farmville is her only friend.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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