I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
