I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
