I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
