Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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