I cockslap morals
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
