I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
