he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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