If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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