I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
