I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
