Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
