i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
