I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize