she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
