all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
