I love black thongs
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
