she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
