I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
