She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We're too hungover to prance.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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