he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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