So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
