you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
