OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
