I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
