She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
