I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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