3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
