I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize