I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
