i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Randomize
