True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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