margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
