Can Purell be used as lube?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
