She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
