ugly people sure do ruin things
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize