I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
