I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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