you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
