I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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