I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
