he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize