When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love you. Go after that dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
