I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize