I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he thought i was a dude.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
